1 00:00:28,700 --> 00:00:32,000 DESERT ISLAND DREAM 2 00:00:37,751 --> 00:00:45,500 A year on a deserted tropical island "Wife" 3 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:53,800 A year on a deserted tropical island "Wife" 20-30 years old, needed to accompany a man 4 00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:01,916 ... "Wife" 20-30 yrs, needed for a man 35v 5 00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:21,950 ANNOUNCEMENTS: Gerald Kingsland, 94 Cumberland Av, London SW3 6 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,700 SECTION 1: Lonely people looking for company. Prices: £16.5 and £33. 7 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:29,350 A year on a deserted tropical island "The Wife" 20-30 yrs, needed to accompany a man 35 yrs 8 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:32,800 Enter information in the reply about yourself and your evening phone number. 9 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,800 Based on the book by Lucy Irvine 10 00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:11,150 Time Out magazine Tower house, Southampton St., London WC2 1HD 11 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,100 Inland Revenue Area 3. Intelligence Point, Income Tax, Valuation Office 12 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:40,000 Then into the wading pool! Splash, splash. Come here, Catherine. Let's get you up. 13 00:03:40,106 --> 00:03:45,001 You were very good. You dared well to be on your side. Oops. 14 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,400 I'll let your mother know how you're getting on. 15 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:56,900 Scoop and splash that water! 16 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:00,500 That's it, very good! 17 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:04,850 - And you at the bottom, come here and do as you... - Mr Kingsland? 18 00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:07,085 - Oh my God! Are we too late? - You were great. 19 00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:11,150 Rule No 1: Do like a swimming instructor and tie your own shoelaces... 20 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:18,000 - We'll be out of here in seven minutes. - I've been following you. Your swimming style is beautiful. 21 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:21,900 I have to go to make a phone call, excuse me. 22 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:28,500 Now Mr Kingsland's swimming lesson is over! 23 00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:32,500 Do you want one? 24 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:38,300 - Whose are these? - Give them to me. 25 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:45,000 ... you know that he's still out there? 26 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,100 Hi, Julian. 27 00:06:17,965 --> 00:06:20,758 Did they dance in the dark Phoenix Park in the dark? 28 00:06:21,288 --> 00:06:25,488 Did Shirley Parnell die and Mickey Dolla in vain? 29 00:06:25,524 --> 00:06:29,154 Let's see what the bone says to that! 30 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:34,000 Where do you think it will take me? Strange coincidence for this bone, believe me. 31 00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:38,200 They are not going to at least in your pocket, Jerry. Come on, you rascal! 32 00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:44,281 I don't do Val Doonican! Let's get the money out! 33 00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:48,954 Virgin bones are Sagan! Don't wave your hair, boy! 34 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:53,500 And you offer the following a drink! You win them all. 35 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,900 Not bad. 36 00:07:04,970 --> 00:07:09,517 The attack took place as the Pope arrived St. Peter's Square to shake hands with the people. 37 00:07:09,521 --> 00:07:12,450 Pope rushed to hospital for emergency surgery... 38 00:07:12,501 --> 00:07:14,001 HOW I GOT AWAY ASSISTANT PRIEST RAPIST 39 00:07:14,423 --> 00:07:18,423 Gender equality advocates will not listen to any objections. 40 00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:20,700 Hi, I'm Kenny Steel. 41 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,000 ... No, no, it was bad. 42 00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:27,300 Beautiful. 43 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,400 Come on, Kim. 44 00:07:40,715 --> 00:07:46,820 - Don't you know it doesn't work on Sundays? - You're the one who has to pay for it. 45 00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:54,100 - Hi. - Hi. - Mary Richards is looking for for a long-term relationship. You can reach her at this number: 46 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,700 515-5290. 47 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,100 ...can be found at the courthouse. 200 reporters have.. 48 00:08:01,170 --> 00:08:06,247 Lucy, what's it like at the Royal Academy? exhibition? I think I'll take Ronnie there. 49 00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:10,318 - I'm trying to bore him With culture. - To be a teacher? 50 00:08:10,339 --> 00:08:14,251 We went to see two ballet performances last week and he really hated them. 51 00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:16,102 Sorry to hear that. 52 00:08:16,122 --> 00:08:20,486 Nor did he like when we recited poems. 53 00:08:20,531 --> 00:08:25,224 - Maybe I should go to sleep Toscon... Tosco, last week. 54 00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:30,436 - You are both Philistines. - Actually, I like poetry. 55 00:08:30,441 --> 00:08:32,970 even though I'm not crazy about it. 56 00:08:33,002 --> 00:08:35,681 Well, what do you think Royal Academy? 57 00:08:35,758 --> 00:08:41,440 Frankly, there is a risk, that you might even like them. 58 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:50,200 ...the body of a 42-year-old civil servant was found in the garden of a justice of the peace. 59 00:08:58,254 --> 00:09:05,024 ...Peter Sutcliffe is charged with seven counts of for seven attempted murders between 1975 and 1980. 60 00:09:05,827 --> 00:09:12,295 The last murder charge concerned a student Jacqueline Hill in Leeds in November. 61 00:09:12,313 --> 00:09:19,848 After the hearing, Mrs Sonia Sutcliffe hid her face from photographers as she walked to her car. 62 00:09:21,505 --> 00:09:25,744 The judge ruled that Peter Sutcliffe remains in custody awaiting trial. 63 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:31,845 the date of which has not yet been decided. He was taken back to Armley Prison. 64 00:09:35,713 --> 00:09:36,963 Other charges included... 65 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,000 A YEAR ON A DESERTED TROPICAL ISLAND "Wife" 20-30 years old, needed 35 years old man... 66 00:09:43,676 --> 00:09:46,685 ...your husband is not a grown man, he still needs a diaper. 67 00:09:46,736 --> 00:09:52,336 Everyone will know that he is a sickening wretch. I swore that he was... 68 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:57,528 said he was telling the truth, said he would take care of but if I hear his voice again... 69 00:09:58,279 --> 00:10:05,755 - Turn it off. - What? - You think, You think I'm stupid? Cigarette. 70 00:10:05,807 --> 00:10:09,333 Tobacco, cigarettes are for the elderly. 71 00:10:11,366 --> 00:10:15,366 Your mother would be furious if she knew you were getting You're the one who gave permission. 72 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:18,902 - and before, that's why I Turn it off! 73 00:10:19,732 --> 00:10:27,263 ...did you? - Yes, of course. - You said I lied, so what? 74 00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:28,527 What did you think I was going to do? 75 00:10:28,569 --> 00:10:34,824 - What's that button doing there? - Paper pulp. I'm making a model. 76 00:10:34,905 --> 00:10:39,008 - The French model is on the 1st floor. - I don't know yet what... 77 00:10:39,871 --> 00:10:44,648 Tell me why his must always be French? 78 00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:48,451 What's in the good old What's wrong with the old British whore? 79 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:56,289 -...others? - There were no others! - How many? - Half a dozen, a dozen, not sure... 80 00:10:57,430 --> 00:11:02,497 - When you were here, or when you were away? - I was away, if that's what you want to know. 81 00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:07,000 - If it's true. - Okay! While I was gone! 82 00:11:10,427 --> 00:11:16,511 Why did you marry me? Why? Answer me! 83 00:11:16,589 --> 00:11:21,627 You know why. - Why do you think I went There is no such thing. 84 00:11:21,632 --> 00:11:24,132 You little rascal! 85 00:11:27,114 --> 00:11:33,309 Why did you sleep with Beth? Are you ever tried to say no? Yes! 86 00:11:37,315 --> 00:11:40,036 I'm here... 87 00:11:40,037 --> 00:11:42,137 ...don't you care? Of course I care... 88 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:48,950 - Hello? Excuse me? - This is Gerald Kingsland from the classifieds section of Time Out magazine. 89 00:11:48,982 --> 00:11:54,779 - Sorry, I thought... - Were you serious? - Of course I was. Is this...? 90 00:11:54,800 --> 00:12:00,485 - Good, everything is as it should be. Can we meet? Yes. Where? 91 00:12:03,485 --> 00:12:05,667 Wait a minute... 92 00:12:05,700 --> 00:12:07,700 ...I wish you were dead! 93 00:12:09,702 --> 00:12:17,701 - Russell Square Hotel, 7:30 pm? 94 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:22,702 Okay. Let's see if... 95 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:34,500 - Sexy, isn't she? - Shameless. - Who called? An old friend. 96 00:12:34,612 --> 00:12:38,554 It was probably mine anyway. He owes me a tenner. 97 00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:47,200 - Who did you call? - Someone I'm going with. for dinner tomorrow night. What are we doing? 98 00:12:47,264 --> 00:12:49,264 To a friend's house. 99 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,600 We are dying here. 100 00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:13,600 Please take your coat off the chair. 101 00:13:27,344 --> 00:13:34,902 - Hello. Has Mr Kingsland arrived yet? - He's probably in the lounge. Okay. 102 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:02,400 Mr Kingsland? I'm Lucy Irvine. 103 00:14:07,807 --> 00:14:15,257 - Thank God for that. - I beg your pardon? - To tell you the truth, I thought that... 104 00:14:15,307 --> 00:14:23,306 - that lady over there would be you. - I'm glad it wasn't. 105 00:14:23,707 --> 00:14:26,707 - Would you like to... - Excuse me. 106 00:14:27,318 --> 00:14:31,785 - I wanted to ask if you can Yes. 107 00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:39,778 - This is all so incredible. - Yes, it is. - Meet someone. I mean... 108 00:14:39,836 --> 00:14:45,786 - A really good blind date. - It's not exactly... 109 00:14:45,836 --> 00:14:49,388 We are not... It's not exactly... 110 00:14:51,129 --> 00:14:54,222 Or actually, it is. 111 00:14:56,035 --> 00:15:03,536 - Can I tell you something? - Yes. - You're the first woman, girl. 112 00:15:03,577 --> 00:15:10,140 who I have interviewed, who has received made me feel this way... 113 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:20,608 - Would you like that drink now? - Yes. 114 00:15:23,532 --> 00:15:29,049 - Not here. - Excuse me. - That way. 115 00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:34,950 ...surrendered to the authorities this evening. Their surrender... 116 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,401 happened soon after the plane, with 54 Pakistani passengers. 117 00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:45,499 - Can I borrow your mascara? - What? - Can I borrow your mascara? - Yes! 118 00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:49,900 ...the release of hostages was at risk when... 119 00:16:02,953 --> 00:16:10,952 Funny that I meet 8 candidates and I still have to meet 3 of them, but... 120 00:16:11,705 --> 00:16:17,602 I don't want you to think that you don't would be exactly what I expected. 121 00:16:20,094 --> 00:16:24,662 - It was excellent pasta. I'm absolutely stuffed. - Yes... 122 00:16:24,713 --> 00:16:31,535 - It is important to do the preparations properly. - Pastan No, when you're living on an island. 123 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:35,152 Not like some idiot Robinson Crusoe, who suddenly noticed the entire ship's inventory... 124 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:40,343 - to be destroyed by him. - And he as her slave of sorts? 125 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:47,915 - Friday! - He had Friday too. Yeah... 126 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:55,999 Yes, it was. I have to arrange first everything, equipment, medicines, visas, etc. 127 00:16:56,284 --> 00:17:00,165 Less important things, such as the fact that there are enough money. The right kind of island. 128 00:17:00,197 --> 00:17:08,196 - Decent water tanks, a suitable partner. - In that order? 129 00:17:19,596 --> 00:17:26,606 What do you do for a living? No, no, don't tell me! You're not a secretary, are you? 130 00:17:28,094 --> 00:17:35,994 - Nurse? - Was that them? I don't understand. 131 00:17:36,031 --> 00:17:40,782 Secretary or nurse. You can't be serious... 132 00:17:40,842 --> 00:17:45,500 I work for the tax office, and I'm already heard all the jokes about it. 133 00:17:46,575 --> 00:17:52,599 One of the girls I interviewed told me that she has a law degree. 134 00:17:54,205 --> 00:18:00,609 I asked him: 'what's the point of that?' on a desert island?" 135 00:18:00,664 --> 00:18:03,364 It was a joke. 136 00:18:03,491 --> 00:18:09,970 Give me a woman who can cook and knows how to pitch a tent... 137 00:18:10,795 --> 00:18:13,638 Can fish... 138 00:18:14,621 --> 00:18:20,008 I would assume that a nurse could be useful there. 139 00:18:22,603 --> 00:18:25,103 Think about it. 140 00:19:00,928 --> 00:19:05,818 Although no date has been set yet the wedding will take place at the end of July... 141 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:12,355 and she becomes Princess of Wales. The engagement ring features 14 diamonds and a sapphire... 142 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:18,148 - Tuin Island, Torres Strait What? - Hi. 143 00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:21,740 - I would like to find a toilet What? 144 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:29,050 - I'm just telling you that you get used to bad Gerald, Lara's here! 145 00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:33,100 - I said that Lara has come to visit... - What? 146 00:19:47,804 --> 00:19:50,970 - Like this. - Yes, that's right. 147 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,000 Yeah, no... 148 00:20:01,135 --> 00:20:04,216 - How is Ronnie? - Good. 149 00:20:04,985 --> 00:20:09,094 - How about you two? - Good. 150 00:20:10,221 --> 00:20:13,473 - I think this is mine. - Yeah. 151 00:20:13,865 --> 00:20:19,420 - See you before you go. - Absolutely. Okay. 152 00:20:20,773 --> 00:20:26,847 - Bye. - Say hello To Ronnie. - I will. I will. See you later. 153 00:20:29,774 --> 00:20:33,974 - Lara! - He's gone, Gerald! 154 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:38,700 FINE ISLANDS 155 00:20:43,698 --> 00:20:46,858 - Un-fucking-believable! - Do you have a problem?No, no. 156 00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:51,850 - No problem at all. Fuck! Retrieved from We've been looking for 3 months. 157 00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:55,977 I'm not getting married because some asshole Australian bureaucrat insists... 158 00:20:56,000 --> 00:21:00,131 I'm more like worried about the money, honey. 159 00:21:00,164 --> 00:21:06,864 My company has paid for everything in advance. Since it's a modest publishing company. 160 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:11,878 we had to insist that the money refunded if the little adventure was cancelled. 161 00:21:11,883 --> 00:21:19,882 Remember when we talked about insurance? You were against it, you said "no need". 162 00:21:27,198 --> 00:21:34,093 - How much have we spent? - Everything. Lucy, there were plane tickets, debts... 163 00:21:34,103 --> 00:21:37,991 I'm not marrying you to marry, Gerald, someone outdated immigration law! 164 00:21:38,012 --> 00:21:46,011 - Especially over some debt! Lucy? 165 00:22:34,551 --> 00:22:40,299 - Let's continue. You may kiss the bride. You have a wife now. - Great! 166 00:22:40,316 --> 00:22:46,250 - Good marriage, Gerald. And it didn't cost I could have done with it... 167 00:22:46,900 --> 00:22:50,900 - Thank you. I would take a large... - I'm going to miss you. 168 00:22:51,426 --> 00:22:56,489 - Lucy, I'm sorry... - Next couple waiting, could you please move out of the room? 169 00:22:56,501 --> 00:23:00,154 Chinese food is waiting, let's go. 170 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:04,500 - Excuse me. - How much longer? Do I have to have to keep bothering me, Gerald? 171 00:24:16,339 --> 00:24:23,383 - It's... - Bigger. - It looks... 172 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:27,384 Let's do this. 173 00:24:27,574 --> 00:24:35,573 - Probably a lot... - Couldn't be more beautiful, than... that sky and beach... 174 00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:38,500 Gorgeous, now you together... 175 00:24:38,564 --> 00:24:41,064 It is our home. 176 00:25:34,900 --> 00:25:36,900 Give it to me. 177 00:25:38,225 --> 00:25:44,775 - All the clothes are ruined here. - Come on. I hate this. 178 00:25:44,808 --> 00:25:46,308 No! 179 00:25:48,171 --> 00:25:52,171 - Sit down. - Have fun! - Thank you. 180 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:55,200 I would have done anything else. 181 00:27:03,300 --> 00:27:07,364 - Get off the boat! - What about me? 182 00:27:10,900 --> 00:27:15,400 Yes! Yes! 183 00:27:19,413 --> 00:27:26,813 Great! Let's have another one. Go to a little to the left. There, stay there. 184 00:27:26,887 --> 00:27:30,817 ...that was a year ago. Very good. 185 00:27:32,206 --> 00:27:37,768 Just look at that incredible beautiful sea! Stunning. A little to the left. 186 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:42,417 Come on, darling. There you go. Great! 187 00:27:43,906 --> 00:27:50,430 - Look at this beautiful sea. - There. - We'll be right there, Gerald. Stay there. 188 00:28:01,009 --> 00:28:04,717 - Cheers. - Bye-bye. 189 00:28:06,179 --> 00:28:09,747 Come over here in the background. 190 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:21,067 - Where has he gone? He couldn't have gone far. - Where's the toilet? 191 00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:29,030 - For God's sake, Janise! Use Use your imagination. Forget it. 192 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:34,080 - I arrest. Lucy? - What? 193 00:29:01,487 --> 00:29:03,487 Lucy! 194 00:29:05,195 --> 00:29:09,395 - Let me get a helicopter over here for a few Janice, don't! I just... 195 00:29:09,417 --> 00:29:16,348 That's not the point of this. This is my my thing and I'm doing it. And so is Gerald. 196 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:23,050 Lucy! Welcome to Tuin. 197 00:29:30,615 --> 00:29:37,587 Hi Janise, would you like to take a picture of what it's like reality of what it will be like on a desert island? 198 00:29:39,139 --> 00:29:43,700 - Gerald, stop. - Joke, joke, girls. 199 00:29:43,834 --> 00:29:47,984 I could take a picture of this one too. Don't move. Lucy, we're on a desert island. 200 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:53,150 - you know what I mean? - We take them I've got 50 boxes of Polaroid film. 201 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:56,200 Yes, I have Polaroid film too, dear. 202 00:30:00,419 --> 00:30:08,418 Rescue is coming! Download from martinis in a glass! It's about time. 203 00:30:08,419 --> 00:30:15,069 Two hours on a desert island. Come on. No more No more sand in your underpants. - What a bloody racket! 204 00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:17,120 Here we come! 205 00:30:47,288 --> 00:30:51,789 Jesus Christ! How long... - Oh my God! 206 00:30:53,418 --> 00:31:00,418 - Did you see how big it was? - Hurry up, come on! 207 00:31:01,500 --> 00:31:06,500 - Come on. - I can't believe this. - Come on, you two. 208 00:31:08,168 --> 00:31:12,631 - Good luck! Take care of yourself. - Goodbye! 209 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:18,700 Donnie, come and help me in! 210 00:31:19,622 --> 00:31:26,012 - Do you still love me? - Please send this letter? Good luck to you. 211 00:31:28,941 --> 00:31:33,282 Let's go, darling. Bye-bye, my dears! See you later! 212 00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:40,400 Ready. Bye Denis! 213 00:31:47,052 --> 00:31:52,192 - The wave is coming. - Jesus. - Watch out... 214 00:32:55,248 --> 00:32:57,631 Tea? 215 00:33:21,195 --> 00:33:26,235 - I made more tea. - Awesome. It does taste good. 216 00:33:27,827 --> 00:33:35,826 - What do you think of the tent? - Very good. There you go. - Thank you. 217 00:33:38,412 --> 00:33:43,997 - What the hell are you doing? - Snakes hate vibrations. 218 00:33:45,210 --> 00:33:51,149 Darling, a snake would need a damn drill to to get in. See how this one is made. 219 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:57,100 See, it's done made entirely of man-made fibre. 220 00:33:57,242 --> 00:34:02,254 Very nice until we start building real shelter. 221 00:34:04,974 --> 00:34:12,143 - I left the rice simmering, but it will soon be dark. - Okay, let's try fishing tomorrow, okay? 222 00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:21,100 - I do not see here anywhere I'm sorry, I said. 223 00:34:21,141 --> 00:34:24,497 that I forgot to buy it yesterday, when we were in Badu, sorry about that. 224 00:34:24,524 --> 00:34:30,744 - What about the extra bags of flour? They were full of iodine, I told you about that. 225 00:34:30,945 --> 00:34:36,745 - I'm sorry. - It makes me angry! - Lucy, I'm sorry! 226 00:35:30,008 --> 00:35:34,842 - Surprise! - Don't do that! 227 00:35:36,234 --> 00:35:39,721 I bet you thought I was I was asleep. 228 00:35:40,095 --> 00:35:42,299 But I wasn't. 229 00:35:42,354 --> 00:35:47,655 But now I'm lustful... 230 00:35:47,700 --> 00:35:51,076 - and ready. - Stop it! 231 00:36:48,142 --> 00:36:52,248 Have you ever been walking down the street and suddenly you notice that you're walking faster and faster... 232 00:36:52,268 --> 00:37:00,094 and you don't know why? And then you discover that you passed a fishmonger's shop. 233 00:37:05,956 --> 00:37:12,014 - Did you know that I hate dead fish? - You can't cook them alive. 234 00:37:15,220 --> 00:37:18,264 I meant buying them. 235 00:37:22,170 --> 00:37:26,620 I once read a book by Izaak Walton The Compleat Angler "the perfect angler". 236 00:37:26,670 --> 00:37:30,239 And it was incredibly boring! 237 00:37:32,578 --> 00:37:38,981 Then why did you read it? I said, why did you read it then! 238 00:37:39,013 --> 00:37:43,082 Because I never stop anything I've started! 239 00:37:48,602 --> 00:37:50,602 Bitch. 240 00:37:54,514 --> 00:37:57,830 You know what, Lucy? 241 00:37:57,942 --> 00:38:04,321 It's good that you have a man here. Otherwise you wouldn't have any of this. 242 00:38:05,636 --> 00:38:10,074 - There are crocodiles here. - No, I don't think so. - Yes. 243 00:38:10,830 --> 00:38:17,165 They are not nice, They're killers. - What? 244 00:38:17,191 --> 00:38:23,714 Yes, I have read about them. They also kill people. 245 00:38:26,715 --> 00:38:28,715 Oh shit! 246 00:38:37,156 --> 00:38:43,798 That woman over there is Aunt Lucy and I'm this gentleman here... 247 00:38:43,897 --> 00:38:51,296 and we have just arrived on this island. And here's a picture of you as you are now. 248 00:38:51,355 --> 00:38:58,636 Gerald, what do you think about when you do ordinary things, boring things? 249 00:38:58,650 --> 00:39:05,503 - Or what do I think then? - Yes, when nothing else happens. 250 00:39:05,554 --> 00:39:08,054 The kind of thing I don't notice. 251 00:39:10,444 --> 00:39:18,043 The first thing I think about is what what's going on around me and then I think... 252 00:39:18,100 --> 00:39:25,144 Then I think... What a fool question. What is everyone thinking now? 253 00:39:25,181 --> 00:39:31,531 I think about food and the like things like that. Is that weird then? 254 00:39:37,109 --> 00:39:44,559 You never ask questions, like about life, about God... 255 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,600 or humanity. 256 00:39:51,191 --> 00:39:54,763 I just want to know what inside your head, that's all. 257 00:39:55,451 --> 00:40:00,572 My brain, it's like my cock. 258 00:40:00,584 --> 00:40:07,995 It goes up and down as it pleases and sometimes it explodes with excitement. 259 00:40:08,996 --> 00:40:13,230 When it seems that it does not does absolutely nothing... 260 00:40:13,284 --> 00:40:17,708 you'd be surprised by all of it what it is capable of thinking. 261 00:40:18,839 --> 00:40:21,339 Have a taste. 262 00:40:26,207 --> 00:40:32,914 - Would you like us to change there one day? - Yes. 263 00:40:33,577 --> 00:40:38,844 "Once upon a time, there was a young fellow called Rahti, who took a woman on a yacht, 264 00:40:39,190 --> 00:40:47,189 was too lazy to rape her, covered her the sticks with paper and threw them conveniently at her pussy." 265 00:40:58,397 --> 00:41:00,087 Lucy! 266 00:41:00,923 --> 00:41:02,380 Lucy? 267 00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:07,100 Lucy? 268 00:41:25,500 --> 00:41:33,499 HOW YOU EXPRESS YOURSELF R.W. JEPSON 269 00:41:59,485 --> 00:42:04,157 - Come on, Gerald, it's getting dark soon. - Yeah. 270 00:42:04,663 --> 00:42:09,668 - Gerald, we should leave We should go back already, the fire's going out. - Calm down. 271 00:42:09,692 --> 00:42:15,313 - We have plenty of time to light up That's another lazy worm. Yeah. 272 00:42:15,344 --> 00:42:19,779 - I can't believe you found again another excuse to sit down. Yes! 273 00:42:19,804 --> 00:42:23,593 That's all you do, but laze around! 274 00:42:32,408 --> 00:42:34,548 Here. 275 00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:23,820 Hi, Lucy! Come here! Come on! 276 00:43:23,856 --> 00:43:28,705 Look, it's ready. I promised to teach you the secrets of the tango. 277 00:43:28,714 --> 00:43:34,495 Gerald, we need shelter and food. This... Oh, my God! 278 00:43:34,530 --> 00:43:38,067 Hey, I thought he wanted to learn something new while we're here. 279 00:43:38,127 --> 00:43:42,666 This is not a fucking Devil's Island! 280 00:44:59,088 --> 00:45:03,490 Gerald, I thought you would have taught to teach me how to fish today? 281 00:45:05,263 --> 00:45:10,113 - We are eating rice today. - I counted the remaining sacks. 282 00:45:10,164 --> 00:45:17,160 18 days, or 25 if we eat less. Multiplied by four, that's 100 days. 283 00:45:19,364 --> 00:45:24,484 Lucy, I want to start growing food here. First of all, because it's practical... 284 00:45:24,521 --> 00:45:29,171 and we need food and secondly, I've always wanted to do that. 285 00:45:29,212 --> 00:45:32,612 Grow my own food on my own island. 286 00:45:32,637 --> 00:45:38,439 I'll make sure we don't starve to death, Lucy, and I'll teach you how to fish, too. 287 00:45:38,457 --> 00:45:44,000 But first I want to do this because I owe it to myself to prove to myself... 288 00:45:44,079 --> 00:45:50,310 that I believe in our future and our co-existence here. Do you understand? 289 00:45:50,354 --> 00:45:55,958 - Our lives can be these vegetables The sea is full of food. 290 00:45:56,310 --> 00:46:01,383 Lucy, you can't live on protein alone. You'll die before your time. 291 00:46:01,415 --> 00:46:08,450 You need vegetables, carbohydrates and fruit. Otherwise you'll die. Damn you, you'll die! 292 00:46:08,484 --> 00:46:13,564 - Let's hope then that they start Let's pray for that. 293 00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:19,469 - Are you praying? - Sometimes. Do you? 294 00:46:20,399 --> 00:46:22,958 I often said "thank you". 295 00:46:23,572 --> 00:46:30,171 The great philosopher ant once crawled in his pants- ...and I recognized the shame... 296 00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:36,007 it belongs to a female. And it proves what you students of Kafka know about things 297 00:46:36,036 --> 00:46:42,431 - Gerald, don't break your skin. "Gerald, don't break your skin." No, teacher. 298 00:46:51,549 --> 00:46:56,711 - Push harder, Gerald! - Not above I can't get up that high. Harder! Come on. 299 00:46:58,300 --> 00:47:03,300 Get out of there. Hit it there... 300 00:47:07,700 --> 00:47:12,700 Now hit it there. 301 00:47:12,901 --> 00:47:19,401 - Now try to get it. Let me help you. difficult. Now it's got a hole in it again. Oh, shit! 302 00:47:21,300 --> 00:47:23,300 Now get out of there. 303 00:47:25,602 --> 00:47:30,924 - Come on! - Gerald! - Oh, shit! Jesus! 304 00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:34,888 Damn it, now they're everywhere! 305 00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:40,500 - It burns so damn much. - It's all right, Gerald. 306 00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:58,843 They must have been working for the devil. Bastards. 307 00:48:00,644 --> 00:48:03,144 I think they did. 308 00:48:39,849 --> 00:48:47,848 When you replied to my ad, you did you expect this... 309 00:48:51,915 --> 00:48:54,415 ...-shit? 310 00:49:02,009 --> 00:49:07,643 Should Tuin be next the smaller resident of Tui? 311 00:49:07,974 --> 00:49:13,065 Gerald, don't. Please. 312 00:50:10,866 --> 00:50:14,866 I'm getting dizzy. 313 00:50:23,589 --> 00:50:27,323 - What starts? - When we can't get any protein. 314 00:50:27,420 --> 00:50:35,292 - We haven't eaten rice since last Tuesday. - Yeah, and just forever sipping tea. 315 00:50:35,882 --> 00:50:43,881 Gerald? I don't want you to a fight between us. 316 00:50:44,166 --> 00:50:46,166 Don't start. 317 00:50:54,500 --> 00:51:02,499 - Gerald, don't want to offend you, I mean it. And I'm sorry. Lucy... 318 00:51:04,325 --> 00:51:12,174 Have you noticed that you are always sorry? You've got this "I'm sorry" thing going on. 319 00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:19,800 You're annoyed by it, aren't you? I'm scared to death when you get angry. 320 00:51:19,835 --> 00:51:26,785 When we are on this island only just the two of us. It scares me... 321 00:51:26,835 --> 00:51:30,835 and makes me feel guilty. 322 00:51:31,605 --> 00:51:37,381 - You clever little shit. - I just can't! 323 00:51:42,719 --> 00:51:46,169 Nothing has changed. I haven't gained weight or gone bald... 324 00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:51,566 or forgot to wash my earbuds. I didn't haven't! Nothing's changed, girl. 325 00:51:51,591 --> 00:51:55,030 None other than you. You have changed! 326 00:51:55,093 --> 00:51:58,941 You have responsibilities, do you understand? 327 00:51:59,866 --> 00:52:06,750 You lied to me and fornicated and seduced your way in here. 328 00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:14,400 We still have it left 9 months and 26 days. 329 00:52:14,449 --> 00:52:19,674 Let's see if we both last that long. 330 00:52:33,100 --> 00:52:37,015 Stop this. Stop this! 331 00:52:37,500 --> 00:52:40,414 Gerry! 332 00:52:40,435 --> 00:52:45,998 - You were not good enough, Lucy! - Gerald, we need this for food! 333 00:52:45,999 --> 00:52:53,998 - Don't let it get away! - Oh Christ, it's a shark! - Give me the rope! 334 00:52:59,008 --> 00:53:04,199 - Careful... Come here, you... Come here, come here! - Come on! 335 00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:12,688 Here it comes! Here, beautiful. 336 00:53:19,500 --> 00:53:24,776 Yeah... you take it. And I'll... 337 00:53:34,406 --> 00:53:39,876 Gerald! Gerry? Gerald! 338 00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:44,700 Gerald? 339 00:53:48,344 --> 00:53:52,678 Gerry, you can't leave it like this. 340 00:54:00,451 --> 00:54:02,631 Gerry! 341 00:54:20,191 --> 00:54:22,191 Gerry! 342 00:54:52,459 --> 00:54:55,766 This is not fair! 343 00:55:05,298 --> 00:55:09,114 I can't go looking for you! 344 00:55:11,849 --> 00:55:13,877 Gerald! 345 00:55:16,978 --> 00:55:18,978 Gerald! 346 00:55:19,812 --> 00:55:25,261 Don't leave me... We are together here! 347 00:55:26,467 --> 00:55:34,090 Gerald, can we talk? Gerald! 348 00:55:37,001 --> 00:55:43,751 "There was a man from Leeds who swallowed a bag of seeds, and... 349 00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:49,889 the grass grew out of his ass... 350 00:55:49,953 --> 00:55:57,036 and the balls were covered with weeds." 351 00:56:05,784 --> 00:56:08,214 Gerald! 352 00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:18,400 Gerald! 353 00:56:21,463 --> 00:56:23,602 Lucy? 354 00:56:24,689 --> 00:56:27,237 I am sorry. 355 00:56:27,282 --> 00:56:35,281 Excuse me! I went to the island on the other side of the island and... 356 00:56:35,397 --> 00:56:43,327 I wanted to come back right away as soon as the sun came up, you understand? 357 00:56:43,956 --> 00:56:46,980 I'm sorry! 358 00:56:59,357 --> 00:57:07,028 I didn't mean to scare you, Lou. I didn't mean to, my love. 359 00:57:08,681 --> 00:57:14,733 I am sorry. I'm... 360 00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:23,532 Of these, the devil's bites are have started to get wet. 361 00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:27,785 Do you understand? 362 00:57:28,125 --> 00:57:33,666 Sorry, girl. Fucking sixteen! 363 00:57:33,712 --> 00:57:36,545 Oh shit! 364 00:57:48,904 --> 00:57:54,604 You know what Lou? I bet that even if I had some tobacco on me, 365 00:57:54,638 --> 00:58:00,018 then I have forgotten how how to roll a cigarette. 366 00:58:09,835 --> 00:58:17,811 - Oh, oh, oh... It's hot in here, isn't it? - Strange, isn't it? - Yes. - The changes. 367 00:58:17,910 --> 00:58:25,909 You can say pub, bollard, bus or guy... 368 00:58:27,170 --> 00:58:34,870 - But those words are lost Yes. They just... 369 00:58:34,900 --> 00:58:40,950 are the images that have disappeared, haven't they? They're just... 370 00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:43,003 votes. 371 00:58:44,675 --> 00:58:49,175 - Yes. - Lou? 372 00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:55,301 - Would you give them a little more some more water. For this. - Yep. 373 00:58:55,331 --> 00:58:59,908 - And this. - Yes. 374 00:59:10,700 --> 00:59:16,502 Pano and cold beer is right now the whole goal of my life at the moment. 375 00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:22,680 You know what? On this island you could a whole new religion. 376 00:59:22,979 --> 00:59:25,223 The religion of pano and cold beer. 377 00:59:25,936 --> 00:59:27,936 Here it is. 378 00:59:36,115 --> 00:59:41,470 Lucy, I said fuck, not roast. 379 00:59:44,726 --> 00:59:48,276 You're quite a liar. 380 00:59:48,332 --> 00:59:52,746 - What have I done wrong now? - Your whole character is a lie. 381 00:59:53,374 --> 00:59:57,641 Pretend to read ahead, think or listen. 382 00:59:58,208 --> 01:00:04,535 You pretend to be the kind of brat who, after getting a good fuck and a beer, you're happy. 383 01:00:06,366 --> 01:00:10,116 Lucy, everyone is living their secret life. 384 01:00:10,166 --> 01:00:13,725 - where even secrets have secrets. - Sure. 385 01:00:13,778 --> 01:00:19,080 Women like to secure us for themselves, understand our thoughts and then guide us. 386 01:00:19,145 --> 01:00:23,195 "He is reliable, he is calm and gentle and good with children." 387 01:00:23,240 --> 01:00:28,438 "I know his true character", they they think, nodding with intelligence. 388 01:00:29,612 --> 01:00:32,519 And then are surprised when the man suddenly doesn't do what they thought he would do. 389 01:00:32,561 --> 01:00:37,448 Then they suddenly realise that they are not they never really knew... 390 01:00:37,767 --> 01:00:42,565 give a shit about them. 391 01:00:43,326 --> 01:00:46,868 Do you believe me now? 392 01:00:52,971 --> 01:00:56,562 Oh God, have we been been here that long? 393 01:01:11,153 --> 01:01:18,355 - So you've already thrown away your panties? - What? - You left the panties off. 394 01:01:18,400 --> 01:01:23,765 Hupista. This cannot be read out loud to G. You must have a concave navel to make love... 395 01:01:23,800 --> 01:01:29,650 with the sun's rays. I have the whole Tuin the most beautiful navel in the whole of Tucson. The ray comes straight from above. 396 01:01:29,700 --> 01:01:34,781 when the sun is perpendicular to this with this part of the Earth, and then surely... 397 01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:38,800 you will be completely enchanted. 398 01:01:41,189 --> 01:01:45,307 The sun, the pole? Lucy... 399 01:01:54,058 --> 01:01:58,696 - I don't even like the taste of these. - Gerald, at least you can eat them. 400 01:01:58,748 --> 01:02:02,832 And I'm not allergic to them, like I am to sharks. 401 01:02:03,833 --> 01:02:07,183 God... Did you know that... 402 01:02:07,522 --> 01:02:13,027 my mother took us to collect beach huts when we were... 403 01:02:14,103 --> 01:02:19,695 He was usually wearing a big apron, with a big pocket in the front. 404 01:02:21,554 --> 01:02:29,504 Hair tied up in a scarf. He always wore a scarf. And he walked... 405 01:02:29,551 --> 01:02:33,766 always in a circle, because he had made so much work. 406 01:02:36,883 --> 01:02:44,882 It was a beautiful white bay when when the tide changed, we used to run... 407 01:02:45,493 --> 01:02:50,383 He used to... 408 01:02:50,467 --> 01:02:57,966 pickle them. I have not heard about picket fences on the beach. 409 01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:01,957 Maybe they had some other name. 410 01:03:02,468 --> 01:03:05,831 I have been thinking that why he made them that way. 411 01:03:09,894 --> 01:03:16,629 Some evenings my mother would go to the main house, when it was the cook's day off... 412 01:03:16,688 --> 01:03:21,468 to help in the kitchen. I have used to go with him. 413 01:03:21,500 --> 01:03:29,499 When the staff sat down to eat I crawled under the table to play with a toy car. 414 01:03:29,989 --> 01:03:33,439 But you know what I really did there? 415 01:03:33,495 --> 01:03:40,706 I looked under the women's skirts. All of them white thighs, pantyhose. 416 01:03:40,720 --> 01:03:46,223 panties and garters, and all the secret places of interest. 417 01:03:46,778 --> 01:03:52,473 Gerry, because we're starting to do a decent protection? I'm going crazy in that tent. 418 01:03:52,549 --> 01:03:55,053 How long have we been here? 419 01:03:56,500 --> 01:04:03,263 It seems to me that the current day is much longer... 420 01:04:03,345 --> 01:04:11,344 - than the first day we arrived Do you know that this place, Tuin... 421 01:04:12,066 --> 01:04:17,035 could be the place where we die? 422 01:04:17,410 --> 01:04:20,972 I always thought that I would come to die in England. 423 01:04:22,895 --> 01:04:27,907 Do you ever think about food, Gerry? Home cooking. 424 01:04:29,300 --> 01:04:31,604 Such as - 425 01:04:31,700 --> 01:04:34,450 - fried eggs and potatoes and vinegar? Lucy, don't. 426 01:04:34,579 --> 01:04:39,455 Or boiled potatoes cold sliced and pickled? 427 01:04:39,484 --> 01:04:41,502 Have you ever eaten fresh toasted and buttered toast - 428 01:04:41,613 --> 01:04:44,867 bone marrow clot and a little pepper marmalade? 429 01:04:44,900 --> 01:04:50,543 Or bowls of fresh candied fruit raspberries? God... 430 01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:55,192 Or tagliatelle pasta with cream sauce with sliced ham and spices. 431 01:04:55,232 --> 01:05:02,500 And three big pints to go with it of beer with foam running down the side of the glass. 432 01:05:03,268 --> 01:05:05,281 Lucy? 433 01:05:05,917 --> 01:05:10,058 That was better than sex, wasn't it? 434 01:05:27,682 --> 01:05:30,182 Lucy, don't... 435 01:05:34,500 --> 01:05:41,300 Lucy, don't go. Lucy, wake up. 436 01:05:41,400 --> 01:05:44,400 Your scent... 437 01:05:46,318 --> 01:05:49,381 Lucy, you're dreaming. 438 01:05:50,300 --> 01:05:55,582 You love me. The secret. Love... 439 01:05:55,600 --> 01:05:57,600 Lucy. 440 01:06:01,595 --> 01:06:09,455 ...waiting for... pushes... deeper, Tuin. 441 01:06:10,310 --> 01:06:18,309 I'll die for you... I'll lose myself, Tuin. 442 01:06:32,812 --> 01:06:38,929 - Are you OK? - They woke me up. 443 01:06:40,230 --> 01:06:47,027 - They are really painful, aren't they? Aren't they? Yes, they are. 444 01:06:49,796 --> 01:06:55,425 - You were talking in your sleep. - What did I say? 445 01:07:24,770 --> 01:07:30,567 Let's set the clock to start at exactly 12 o'clock. 446 01:07:30,749 --> 01:07:36,386 Set the clock to exactly 10 o'clock. 447 01:07:45,600 --> 01:07:47,600 Gerald! 448 01:08:02,300 --> 01:08:04,300 Gerry! 449 01:08:07,700 --> 01:08:13,200 - Gerald! - First adjustment... I'll be here at 13:00! 450 01:08:16,251 --> 01:08:21,290 Gerald! - 14 o'clock! - Gerald, Gerald, someone's coming this way! 451 01:08:37,947 --> 01:08:41,967 - Hide your tits. What? Oh my God, cover your tits! 452 01:08:42,026 --> 01:08:48,026 - Hohoi! Anyone on the beach? - Anyone there? 453 01:08:49,700 --> 01:08:51,400 Hohoi! 454 01:08:51,428 --> 01:08:56,936 There are only two. Perhaps we need to be social. 455 01:08:57,817 --> 01:09:02,412 - Hello! - Hi! 456 01:09:05,470 --> 01:09:11,529 By law, you must fill in and return this census form. 457 01:09:11,557 --> 01:09:17,707 - What? - Incredible, isn't it? They they insist that we come and bring this... 458 01:09:17,757 --> 01:09:22,957 a population calculation form. Hopefully, you won't mind, but we'd have to... 459 01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:28,537 - make some corrections to the accommodation. - We have no extra food here! 460 01:09:28,602 --> 01:09:34,298 It's OK, we have plenty of food with us. You can take from us if you want. 461 01:09:34,339 --> 01:09:37,106 It is very friendly from you! Thank you very much! 462 01:09:48,002 --> 01:09:53,109 I know this is crazy, but here it is. 463 01:09:56,378 --> 01:09:58,378 Here. 464 01:10:02,500 --> 01:10:08,300 - Well, how are you here? We like the island a lot. 465 01:10:11,604 --> 01:10:18,604 - I'm Rod Armstrong. - Hi. - This is my friend Jason. 466 01:10:27,620 --> 01:10:35,619 - Hello, I'm Jason Menzis. - Hi, Jason. - Hi. 467 01:10:42,801 --> 01:10:48,601 - You both look... - We must have to get along with each other so far. 468 01:10:48,623 --> 01:10:51,623 We're fine. 469 01:10:52,174 --> 01:10:57,215 Your boat looks great. A really nice boat. 470 01:11:00,897 --> 01:11:04,919 Lucy. 471 01:11:04,965 --> 01:11:12,092 would you make us all some tea? - Tea... Yes, of course. Come on. 472 01:11:12,167 --> 01:11:15,674 - A great idea. - Thank you. 473 01:11:25,779 --> 01:11:28,279 What was it? 474 01:11:29,642 --> 01:11:32,642 This should help. 475 01:11:33,403 --> 01:11:35,835 That hurts! 476 01:11:38,921 --> 01:11:41,938 Here, have a beer. 477 01:11:42,112 --> 01:11:45,362 - There's Gerald playing a joke. I bet you're not. you didn't know what it was like here? 478 01:11:45,400 --> 01:11:49,822 - That's all we brought with us. - Lucy, have you noticed something? 479 01:11:49,891 --> 01:11:55,156 Today is the first day you entertain anyone since you got married. 480 01:11:55,219 --> 01:11:57,722 Yes, it is. 481 01:11:58,415 --> 01:12:01,926 You must have a lot intimacy here. 482 01:12:01,999 --> 01:12:08,018 - In the end, you will surely know everything What are you discussing here? 483 01:12:11,279 --> 01:12:16,144 Of course, practical matters and then - 484 01:12:16,168 --> 01:12:24,157 about our lives, memories and thoughts. 485 01:12:24,703 --> 01:12:30,453 - I don't know. More like silent a silent conversation, actually. - Right. 486 01:12:30,500 --> 01:12:34,748 That's what happens when people know too much about each other. 487 01:12:36,085 --> 01:12:42,933 No need to pretend. Nothing to hide. 488 01:12:43,825 --> 01:12:45,499 At least you are married. 489 01:12:45,569 --> 01:12:49,893 If you were not, just think what you would demand of each other afterwards. 490 01:12:49,973 --> 01:12:52,923 I for one could not let someone else go go their own way after such an experience. 491 01:12:53,154 --> 01:12:55,654 I'd keep it for myself. 492 01:12:56,244 --> 01:13:00,003 We only got married because forced by the authorities. They said: 493 01:13:00,027 --> 01:13:04,099 "No sex in the desert island unless you have a marriage license." 494 01:13:04,502 --> 01:13:08,797 - I find that a bit hard to believe. - It is, isn't it? 495 01:13:08,878 --> 01:13:13,129 It could be worse, if there was no sex at all. 496 01:13:14,300 --> 01:13:18,700 That would be incredible. 497 01:13:19,994 --> 01:13:21,994 Oh shit. 498 01:13:29,720 --> 01:13:34,642 It's not Gerald's fault. It's just the way he is. 499 01:13:37,400 --> 01:13:41,350 It's me. I know that. 500 01:13:41,401 --> 01:13:46,351 But he just lies there, and does nothing. 501 01:13:46,402 --> 01:13:50,402 Without - 502 01:13:50,800 --> 01:13:56,800 imagination. 503 01:13:59,400 --> 01:14:02,400 I guess it's because... 504 01:14:02,601 --> 01:14:08,201 I think it's partly because he's so much older than me. 505 01:14:08,274 --> 01:14:12,053 And that terrible infection in his feet. 506 01:14:14,383 --> 01:14:17,542 It's slippery there. 507 01:14:30,100 --> 01:14:32,100 Good. 508 01:14:35,401 --> 01:14:41,001 - Wasn't it...like this? - No. 509 01:14:41,700 --> 01:14:46,841 - Here, and there, OK? - Okay. Yeah. 510 01:14:57,654 --> 01:15:00,385 Show you. 511 01:15:06,274 --> 01:15:13,177 I love this place. This is exactly what I dreamed it would be. 512 01:15:19,827 --> 01:15:22,907 Where is Jason? 513 01:15:23,348 --> 01:15:25,452 Lucy. 514 01:15:33,600 --> 01:15:38,600 No, no, I'm married. 515 01:15:39,410 --> 01:15:42,663 I am a married woman. 516 01:17:05,650 --> 01:17:12,070 You're like a bitch in heat. You know that? 517 01:17:14,424 --> 01:17:21,441 If you behave like that tomorrow. I'm going to beat the shit out of you, you understand? 518 01:17:28,271 --> 01:17:33,465 You are a very strange person. 519 01:17:34,394 --> 01:17:38,017 I don't understand you, Lucy. 520 01:17:58,558 --> 01:18:01,347 Take it easy there! 521 01:18:06,388 --> 01:18:13,048 - Funny couple. - I actually liked the old one He was an okay guy. 522 01:18:13,100 --> 01:18:20,628 - but a bit of a wild man. - Tell me, charmer, did you get some? 523 01:18:37,001 --> 01:18:41,712 I'm going fishing. Who knows... 524 01:18:41,824 --> 01:18:47,424 - With the hooks and baits that they I defended you. 525 01:18:47,472 --> 01:18:54,528 - I defended you because I was so You defended me? 526 01:18:56,207 --> 01:19:02,754 Bullshit! You stuck yourself to them! 527 01:19:02,800 --> 01:19:09,450 - Yesterday... - Yes, yesterday! What happened yesterday? 528 01:19:09,488 --> 01:19:13,409 Did you give them both? One together in one hole and the other in the other? 529 01:19:13,442 --> 01:19:19,799 - Damn you for pushing yourself on them, like a horny bitch! I didn't do anything! 530 01:19:19,834 --> 01:19:23,055 This is all because of your stupid and distorted notion of loyalty! 531 01:19:23,071 --> 01:19:26,471 I will say that I regret that I did not gave them! Now I'm so damn sorry! 532 01:19:26,605 --> 01:19:33,899 - Lucy, you're a liar! - I ended up defending you! 533 01:19:34,200 --> 01:19:41,423 They noticed everything, everything, just lying there... 534 01:19:41,477 --> 01:19:46,548 useless, hopeless, reckless! 535 01:19:48,400 --> 01:19:50,400 Really? 536 01:19:50,667 --> 01:19:55,930 Really, Lucy? What is this? 537 01:19:55,968 --> 01:20:00,382 Bird shit? It's a house, Lucy! 538 01:20:03,328 --> 01:20:10,121 We know what this woman wants! Some blond, muscular, no-good, no-man's-land... 539 01:20:10,211 --> 01:20:15,361 an Aussie who comes to the beach to introduce themselves. Yes, that's right. 540 01:20:15,427 --> 01:20:21,835 No sex on the Isle of Tu, ma'am, or at least not until Jason and Rod come over. 541 01:20:22,173 --> 01:20:26,458 I just wanted to be proud of you, that's all. I wanted to be able to say: 542 01:20:26,500 --> 01:20:30,049 "Look what we have got here accomplished here. And how we have survived here." 543 01:20:30,120 --> 01:20:35,740 And you know what? I couldn't even say that! There's your food. 544 01:20:35,800 --> 01:20:43,799 - I'll be back! Lucy, don't! - Look at this place, Gerald! 545 01:20:44,009 --> 01:20:49,659 Look what we have achieved here, look what you have done! Nothing! 546 01:20:49,700 --> 01:20:53,009 A house? 547 01:20:53,457 --> 01:20:55,957 It's nothing! 548 01:21:01,898 --> 01:21:09,897 Hey, slut! This was your dinner. Now you're going to starve! 549 01:22:39,014 --> 01:22:47,013 This is an old cemetery. The weather season is about to begin. 550 01:22:48,000 --> 01:22:55,343 Yes, also my menstruation, or should have started five weeks ago. 551 01:23:00,926 --> 01:23:05,760 - That's all we needed. - I can't be pregnant. 552 01:23:05,900 --> 01:23:09,900 No. Forget it. 553 01:24:35,802 --> 01:24:40,034 I can't grow vegetables without water! 554 01:24:54,948 --> 01:25:02,030 Lou, what happened? What's the matter? 555 01:25:02,437 --> 01:25:08,812 - What's the matter, honey? - I ate that awful... 556 01:25:09,366 --> 01:25:13,598 Where did you get it? 557 01:25:16,669 --> 01:25:23,335 God... Gerald... I think it's... 558 01:25:29,276 --> 01:25:36,514 Lucy's condition looks the same, as described by Lienhard and McKenzie... 559 01:25:36,617 --> 01:25:43,240 ...produces a thick coffee substitute. The beans are edible... 560 01:25:43,300 --> 01:25:47,842 and nutritious when cooked, but... 561 01:25:47,900 --> 01:25:53,887 highly toxic when raw. In cases of poisoning... 562 01:29:48,750 --> 01:29:54,450 - Jesus Christ! Excuse me. arrived a week later... 563 01:29:54,464 --> 01:29:57,256 God is to be thanked for this. 564 01:30:00,736 --> 01:30:03,583 Almost done, just a little more. Now let's have a look at your foot. 565 01:30:03,842 --> 01:30:11,050 Mr Kingsland, what was your intention for that, for your wife to become pregnant on this island? 566 01:30:11,100 --> 01:30:15,250 - You see, my wife and I... - No need a doctor's note to see... 567 01:30:15,300 --> 01:30:19,856 severe malnutrition. I assume that his her periods stopped a while ago. 568 01:30:19,896 --> 01:30:25,119 - It might be because my wife... - You have been very lucky. 569 01:30:25,400 --> 01:30:27,523 Let me see. 570 01:30:29,881 --> 01:30:32,050 Damn lucky. 571 01:30:33,727 --> 01:30:37,952 - Don't take it straight away. It's a lot much better with water. - Sister. 572 01:30:37,989 --> 01:30:42,627 Be sure to finish this antibiotic course. Take a tablet six times a day. 573 01:30:42,655 --> 01:30:45,854 And these vitamins at least for a month. 574 01:30:45,900 --> 01:30:49,355 And you Mr Kingsland, take care, that you get to the surgery in Badu. 575 01:30:49,400 --> 01:30:54,456 - It's an appointment, sister. - Now we give thanks to Him to whom it belongs. 576 01:30:54,505 --> 01:30:56,551 Sister... 577 01:31:24,595 --> 01:31:26,864 ...unprejudicedly afraid... 578 01:31:26,900 --> 01:31:30,635 to believe in God Almighty... 579 01:31:30,698 --> 01:31:38,018 - Do you have a yakar? - You're a taxi driver, aren't you? 580 01:31:38,254 --> 01:31:44,927 What were you two gossiping about? - About horses. 581 01:31:44,961 --> 01:31:51,311 Yes. Sister Winifred and I both are very fond of horses. 582 01:31:51,330 --> 01:31:55,073 - Yes. - No, thank you. - I like dancing. 583 01:31:55,100 --> 01:31:59,589 Tell me, I assume that... are you... 584 01:31:59,661 --> 01:32:03,367 I mean, are you completely professional? 585 01:32:03,378 --> 01:32:11,014 - I am on the state professional register I meant as a nun. 586 01:32:13,609 --> 01:32:16,195 Sister Saint Winifred... 587 01:32:17,049 --> 01:32:23,522 You are a very intelligent man, Mr Gerald! Well done, Gerald! 588 01:32:24,023 --> 01:32:27,023 He fixed this! 589 01:32:27,318 --> 01:32:32,388 Okay, I'll get you more food. And the gentleman gets more work. 590 01:32:32,430 --> 01:32:37,516 Many engines in Badu do not work. As you will see, Mr Gerald. 591 01:32:37,720 --> 01:32:40,957 You'll see, Mr Gerald! 592 01:32:42,619 --> 01:32:48,138 They are very nice. So incredibly nice. 593 01:32:48,219 --> 01:32:55,121 They are kind, generous, modest, hopeful and kind. 594 01:32:55,176 --> 01:33:01,011 God, I love this rice wine. I think it's absolutely fantastic! 595 01:33:02,159 --> 01:33:06,242 Did you know that they would like me to fix their old tractor next week. 596 01:33:06,257 --> 01:33:10,757 And then the lawyer asked me to to look at their air conditioner. 597 01:33:10,796 --> 01:33:16,181 - I wish you weren't. - What wouldn't I be? Nothing. 598 01:33:16,200 --> 01:33:22,092 When you do nothing? All the bullshit when I'm not doing anything. 599 01:33:22,159 --> 01:33:25,162 That's the real logic of a woman. 600 01:33:34,014 --> 01:33:37,109 ...people who listen now listening to the news... 601 01:33:37,462 --> 01:33:39,556 ... follow the weather forecast. 602 01:33:39,585 --> 01:33:43,955 The East and South-East Gulf Sea is a lull of small waves. 603 01:33:43,995 --> 01:33:46,571 North-easterly wind blowing at 10 knots at a speed of 10 knots. 604 01:33:47,173 --> 01:33:54,437 For those who want to take the fun out of it the weather will be perfect for sailing. 605 01:33:54,468 --> 01:33:57,124 Finally, listen to music. 606 01:33:57,200 --> 01:34:01,748 Rainy season takes over Tuinin inhabitants of Tuin, who receive it with them: 607 01:34:01,800 --> 01:34:06,550 despair, damp, cold, damage. 608 01:34:06,572 --> 01:34:10,112 And too much of this damn water! 609 01:34:12,707 --> 01:34:18,032 This is the story of my life, Lucy. This whole damn thing! 610 01:34:54,600 --> 01:34:56,247 Yes! 611 01:35:06,476 --> 01:35:12,002 - Here you go. For you. - I'm not hungry, thank you. 612 01:35:14,378 --> 01:35:17,420 You're really not hungry. 613 01:35:20,200 --> 01:35:26,257 Lou, stay for the discussion. You're good company. 614 01:35:28,354 --> 01:35:33,655 - When you're not in Badiou? - You can You can come with me, they've asked for you. 615 01:35:33,769 --> 01:35:35,520 No. 616 01:35:37,230 --> 01:35:45,030 Lou, I know what this year has meant for you on the island of Tui with me and... 617 01:35:45,800 --> 01:35:50,711 But the year begins will soon be over. 618 01:35:50,817 --> 01:35:54,830 - What will you do then? - I don't know. 619 01:35:54,885 --> 01:36:00,051 Mr Gerald! - Ronnie! 620 01:36:00,100 --> 01:36:03,511 He is early, I have not received fixed this yet. Ronnie boy! 621 01:36:03,547 --> 01:36:09,699 I hope that Tuin and I... I wish that we could... 622 01:36:11,126 --> 01:36:15,564 - Mr Gerald! - Ronnie! 623 01:36:35,656 --> 01:36:39,988 I don't know what to do with me is happening to me. 624 01:36:40,050 --> 01:36:45,079 Because I've changed in the last few weeks ...so quickly, both externally and internally... 625 01:36:45,107 --> 01:36:52,200 that I feel like I don't recognise the old me anymore. 626 01:36:53,344 --> 01:36:57,650 It's so great to see G's confidence and self-confidence returning. 627 01:36:57,710 --> 01:37:01,116 I never really knew him when he wasn't depressed. 628 01:37:01,138 --> 01:37:09,137 Now I see his real friendly the side he had only spoken of before. 629 01:37:09,958 --> 01:37:13,439 It is strange that he has almost forgotten to remind me that I'm superfluous... 630 01:37:13,507 --> 01:37:16,971 an asshole who does not is not allowed to fuck. 631 01:37:17,007 --> 01:37:20,942 But not quite completely forgotten. 632 01:39:13,500 --> 01:39:15,400 - Keep, keep... - Go, go, go. 633 01:39:15,450 --> 01:39:19,848 Bye-bye, see you in a few in a few days! 634 01:39:19,903 --> 01:39:23,802 Goodbye! 635 01:39:30,956 --> 01:39:35,047 - Hi. - Please come with the following Next time you come with me, Lou. 636 01:39:35,097 --> 01:39:39,081 They make you feel feel like a princess! 637 01:39:39,091 --> 01:39:41,628 Sorry that I went a day longer than I had planned. 638 01:39:41,675 --> 01:39:46,510 I didn't finish everything by then. They're all amazing people there, Lou. 639 01:39:46,545 --> 01:39:48,166 You should hear what Ronald says about you. 640 01:39:48,185 --> 01:39:54,391 - Make Jayne Mansfield look old Who's Jayne Mansfield? 641 01:39:58,049 --> 01:40:01,052 Did you invite me to dinner? 642 01:40:03,260 --> 01:40:08,821 Look what I brought us for dinner. 643 01:40:11,901 --> 01:40:16,017 Gerald, who am I? 644 01:40:17,790 --> 01:40:24,433 Oh Lucy, I've pressed long I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired... 645 01:40:24,537 --> 01:40:29,011 but very happy returning here to you. 646 01:40:29,313 --> 01:40:32,046 I'm Lucy Irvine? 647 01:40:35,999 --> 01:40:41,083 - Lucy shit! - Lucy Kingsland then, if you like. 648 01:40:41,434 --> 01:40:45,943 Girl, woman, adventurer. 649 01:40:46,076 --> 01:40:49,939 daughter and even a survivor. Gerald. 650 01:40:49,966 --> 01:40:53,900 the only thing I'm really not... 651 01:40:54,206 --> 01:40:59,197 i am not a mechanic's wife! And as such you are making me. 652 01:40:59,213 --> 01:41:05,163 Didn't we come here to survive? Experience life on the island, using our intelligence... 653 01:41:05,200 --> 01:41:10,824 our skills and originality. You're not even here anymore, Gerald. 654 01:41:10,841 --> 01:41:14,764 - You're practically in the bath all the time either drinking or with women. Lucy. 655 01:41:14,800 --> 01:41:18,950 - I've been there three or five times. - But when you're here. 656 01:41:19,000 --> 01:41:26,236 so what do we have? A damn workshop where where people bring their lawn mowers to be repaired. 657 01:41:26,335 --> 01:41:33,734 Gerald, you have diluted our relationship... It's over! Everything we talked about... 658 01:41:33,800 --> 01:41:41,799 we planned and hoped how to live is over! All that's left is frozen and salted chicken! 659 01:41:45,504 --> 01:41:48,521 This is a month old! 660 01:41:49,565 --> 01:41:57,495 - I like that magazine. What? - The lamp. 661 01:42:00,155 --> 01:42:05,260 Gerald, I'm very sorry, it's it's just that I had to be alone for two days... 662 01:42:05,301 --> 01:42:10,651 - as well as last week. I... - Yeah, that too. 663 01:42:10,705 --> 01:42:17,513 - Feels like me and Tuin didn't It's not like that, Lucy. 664 01:42:17,600 --> 01:42:24,750 - I'm sorry I got so angry. Maybe it's just that here on the island... 665 01:42:24,800 --> 01:42:30,950 we have... If we had sex, then there would be no need to go anywhere else. 666 01:42:31,000 --> 01:42:33,100 So... 667 01:42:34,106 --> 01:42:38,649 Right. Is that what you want? 668 01:42:39,500 --> 01:42:45,100 - I apologise for my gloomy laugh. - Is that what you'd like to see? 669 01:42:45,205 --> 01:42:51,460 Lucy, what I would like to see right now is you lying on your back... 670 01:42:51,510 --> 01:42:54,267 hands behind your head and you you'd get fucked real good, like... 671 01:42:54,316 --> 01:42:58,174 every other woman in the world, according to including some of the royal family. 672 01:42:58,212 --> 01:43:01,263 Is that clear? 673 01:43:09,210 --> 01:43:12,244 Does that mean yes? 674 01:43:17,798 --> 01:43:21,181 "Yes" and pigs can fly... 675 01:43:50,455 --> 01:43:52,288 Gerald? 676 01:43:59,658 --> 01:44:04,054 Would you like to see the Rose prepare the bath? 677 01:44:08,408 --> 01:44:14,399 - Lucy. - Excuse me, sir, but my name is Sleeping Beauty. 678 01:44:16,515 --> 01:44:23,747 Sir, usually gentlemen get up up when a fine lady comes into the room. 679 01:44:31,419 --> 01:44:37,639 - Lucy, don't. - Didn't you say you liked me? 680 01:44:38,094 --> 01:44:46,093 It doesn't change what we said. Gone cannot be changed, only the present moment matters. 681 01:44:52,300 --> 01:44:58,753 - Lucy, this isn't fair. - I want to I want to end my year on Tui with you. 682 01:44:58,788 --> 01:45:06,787 Let's just stop it between you and me. Spend the night here, don't go to Badu. 683 01:45:08,152 --> 01:45:14,166 Stay here in Tuin. We love you Every night... 684 01:45:14,200 --> 01:45:21,700 around the island. Right? 685 01:45:21,784 --> 01:45:28,048 - You're not going to Badu, are you? No. I'm not leaving the island until the year is up? 686 01:45:28,100 --> 01:45:34,549 - You don't? - No. 687 01:45:34,683 --> 01:45:42,482 - Okay? - Yes. 688 01:45:42,500 --> 01:45:45,615 - No more Badua. - No. 689 01:45:46,898 --> 01:45:53,485 Stay here in Tuin. Right? 690 01:45:54,800 --> 01:46:00,956 Lucy, you are selling yourself. 691 01:46:02,764 --> 01:46:04,747 You are a whore! 692 01:46:05,649 --> 01:46:09,903 - I thought you wanted what Yes! 693 01:46:10,006 --> 01:46:14,707 - There's nothing to it new. Okay? - Yes! 694 01:46:34,231 --> 01:46:42,230 Colin Wilson - The criminal history of mankind 695 01:47:25,434 --> 01:47:29,016 Lucy, come here! 696 01:47:29,055 --> 01:47:33,223 Gerald, I need some light in here! 697 01:47:33,332 --> 01:47:37,408 The wind has torn my diary! 698 01:47:53,904 --> 01:48:01,104 - Lucy! - Oh my God, my diary is ruined! 699 01:48:01,144 --> 01:48:08,144 Goodness, Gerald, this is not the time time for sex! Help me! 700 01:48:08,200 --> 01:48:14,150 - We had a deal, Lucy! - Not in the middle of a bloody hurricane! 701 01:48:14,176 --> 01:48:18,847 Show me where, and let's go into that storm. Let's go, show me! 702 01:48:18,900 --> 01:48:24,700 - I don't want to, Gerald. - Lucy... - No! 703 01:48:24,751 --> 01:48:27,110 Stop. 704 01:48:27,151 --> 01:48:30,100 The past has a right to... 705 01:48:30,582 --> 01:48:37,596 - Time, Lucy. There's no time. - There are only a few days left. 706 01:48:40,066 --> 01:48:45,111 Now it's good. Lucy, for both of us. 707 01:48:45,612 --> 01:48:47,612 Gerald! 708 01:48:48,276 --> 01:48:51,278 Now is the time! 709 01:49:38,752 --> 01:49:44,411 Lucy, I think someone's coming here. 710 01:49:55,859 --> 01:49:57,868 Lucy? 711 01:50:03,605 --> 01:50:05,438 Oh my goodness! 712 01:50:06,128 --> 01:50:13,955 Hey, there seems to have been a really good destruction. We're fixing everything that's broken. 713 01:50:14,466 --> 01:50:20,037 The workshop is ready, Mr Gerald, everything is fixed. 714 01:50:20,200 --> 01:50:27,200 Ronnie old boy, don't just say that you've come here and taken everything? 715 01:50:28,146 --> 01:50:32,000 - Ronnie, we are not yet Finished? 716 01:50:32,062 --> 01:50:38,861 - Our year on the island of Tuin. It comes from full until... - September 16th. 717 01:50:38,900 --> 01:50:43,450 - That was already last month. - No, no... Now it's just... 718 01:50:43,500 --> 01:50:49,456 October! Lou, we have been on the Isle of Tui for a year! 719 01:50:51,316 --> 01:50:55,377 We have spent on the island of Tui year. 720 01:51:37,978 --> 01:51:40,220 Oh no... 721 01:51:41,099 --> 01:51:43,777 Oh God... 722 01:52:34,705 --> 01:52:37,566 Look, Mr Gerald! 723 01:52:37,612 --> 01:52:41,895 Mr Gerald, look what we have here for you. 724 01:52:41,925 --> 01:52:47,652 Workshop ready, Mr Gerald! Watch. Do you like it? 725 01:52:47,717 --> 01:52:51,580 Yes, it's fine. Very nice. 726 01:53:15,020 --> 01:53:18,063 Have mercy on my mistakes. 727 01:53:23,074 --> 01:53:25,101 Lou? 728 01:53:29,612 --> 01:53:32,116 Live a happy life. 729 01:53:48,306 --> 01:53:50,959 OK, now back to the lathe! 730 01:54:22,000 --> 01:54:23,000 I LOVE YOU 731 01:54:27,200 --> 01:54:33,900 I LOVE YOU